SPLITTING THE BLANKET

The traditions surrounding marriage in traditional Tribes is certainly an eye opener for most non native peoples. From long ago, until the present time, only women owned property among the Iroquois nations.

Long ago if Iroquois men wanted to go to war, they had to get permission from the Clan Mothers. This made sense because the burden of losing the men in battle would fall to the women who would have to raise their families alone. Every material thing from a marriage belonged to the wife and when she felt that the marriage was not working, she was the one to split the marriage blanket by placing the husband’s clothes, his half of the marriage blanket and his hunting items outside the longhouse. He would then have to go back to his mother’s Clan in shame to live with them in their longhouse, bearing the common knowledge that he had not been a good husband, father or provider.

Although the decision to split the blanket and end a marriage was not taken lightly, the burden of a just decision rested with the woman. The man was also free to leave if the wife was not fulfilling her duties, but he had to leave without anything but his personal possessions.

Imagine the effect this custom would have on modern society. Could this practice ensure that both marriage partners would strive to get along? Could an arrangement like this ensure that both parties would take their roles of union and devotion as sacred, weighing the truth of their love for one another against the consequences of improper behavior?

Jamie Sams Earth Medicine

I've wondered where "splitting the blanket" came from. Interesting, she literally splits the blanket. I suspect that a lot of time and care was taken before the marriage was celebrated. In many of the traditional communities making good marriages, raising children, and the like is the business of the families not just the couple and/or their children. It's the business of the community because the price of failure isn't confined to only to the people directly involved. Perhaps if it were harder for us to get married, maybe we wouldn't give up so quickly.